No More Lonliness
by GracieLooWho
Summary: Blaine and Kurt are dating, they're totally in love...but perfection is always tested. How will they handle the obstacles they come across? can they get through them together? or will they break apart? Klaine 4ever!  rated M for language and passion
1. I've missed you

Sometimes it's as if I'm all alone. But then I realize; I AM all alone. So when he walks into my life and actually, I don't know, wants to be with me, I'm a little surprised. I've never had anyone in my life, EVER, that's like me… All I can say is this… I'm pretty fuckin' happy.

I hear a knock on the door. I get up from the comfy love seat and go to open it. Who I find there is the boy of my dreams. My prince charming. My best friend. My lover. My life. My EVERYTHING.

"Kurt! I missed you!" He kisses me on the nose; I blush. Blaine had been gone all weekend for a family trip. I was missing him like crazy so a peck on the nose won't do it for me. I smile up at him, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him as passionately as I can on the lips. He deepens the kiss right away; I can tell he missed me as much as I missed him by the way he pulls me closer to him. We start a make-out session, touching and feeling each other hungrily. I push him against the door and I love the feel of his tongue rolling over mine; I break the kiss and he groans a little in disappointment only to moan quietly with pleasure when I latch my mouth to his neck, kissing the exposed skin there with a lust I can feel building and building,

"Ahem," we stop abruptly and I have inkling as to who is right behind me. I feel Blaine's arms quickly leave contact from my body and he pulls my arms from around his neck.

"My dad's right behind me isn't he?" I ask with a sigh before turning around to face the storm leaning against the wall; arms crossed.

"If I lie and say no would that make you feel better?" Blaine asked half sarcastically. Half serious.

I turn around and see none other than my father staring back at me with a look that plainly states 'I did not need to see that'.

"Sorry dad… I missed him a lot."

"I definitely caught that, Kurt."

"Are you mad?" I ask.

"We're really sorry Mr. Hummel," I hear Blaine chime in sheepishly from behind me.

"Mad about what?" Perfect timing… Just what I need is Finn to be around during this discussion. He's eating an apple and it looks like he had been working out due to the fact that he isn't wearing a shirt and he's sweating like a pig.

"Nothing Finn, why don't you go help your mother with…whatever it is she's doing," My dad says; Finn seems to understand and leaves. He gives me a quick wink before hustling up the stairs. I have a feeling he knows what was happening.

"Why don't you two come sit down in the living room with me so we can have a little chat…" He walks over to the couch and sits down slowly and carefully…he still isn't in perfect health.

We follow in silence and each take a seat on one of the chairs sitting in front of the window.

"So I see you two have been getting…familiar with each other," He looks at us, his eyes peering from behind the bill of his cap.

Before I can say anything Blaine pipes in, "Again, sir, we're both really sorry about that…we got a bit…carried away."

I look to Blaine, I can tell he's pretty uncomfortable. I look at my dad and see a determined expression…Oh god, if he starts talking about sex and stuff I'm gonna faint. He takes in a long breath and starts his speech,

"Well I know you two really like each other and I'm fine with that, but sometimes…blah blah blah blah…" Sure enough, off he goes about it! I mean, what the hell? How old does he think we are? Fourteen? And Blaine looks as bad as I feel… Super embarrassed. He catches my eyes with his stare; those lovely eyes, I can see in them what he's trying to say, 'I wish we had never gotten into this, but I don't fully regret it'.

Finally he's finished with his little talk… it was something about being sure to use protection and being careful.

"Alright, I think I got out what I wanted to say," he starts to get up, I move to help him,

"Yeah, Yeah dad we'll be sure to be careful," I honestly hadn't really been paying attention, I knew all this stuff already. I wasn't stupid and I wasn't going to make a stupid mistake.

"Good good, and please don't start… you know…when you're in the house with the whole rest of the family potentially at risk of walking in on you."

"Will do dad," He gets fully to his feet. Blaine walks over to my side and puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Would you mind if I take Kurt out tonight?" I smile at the thought of being totally alone with Blaine.

"Sure thing, Blaine," I'm surprised to see my dad flash a big smile at us. He turns and starts to walk away but then stops and looks over his shoulder, Starts to say something, stops, then just shakes his head and smiles again.

When he leaves me and Blaine let out a huge sigh,

"How awkward was that?" I laugh.

He laughs too, saying, a little more seriously now, "Your dad means well, you're lucky to have such an amazing family," He cups my face in his hands and guides my gaze to his, "I'm so lucky to have you in my life," he whispers. I can't resist his mouth, I move up to kiss him again forgetting everything my dad said about getting it on in the house with other people around (He didn't actually put it that way, but that's basically his point). His lips sear mine and I'm filled with the warmth of a soft kiss. We're forced to break apart again, though, when,

"What did your father just talk to you two about?" Finn struts into the living room chuckling, "guess you just can't seem to keep your hands off of each other!"

"Were you listening, Finn!" I ask, hating the lost contact between my lips and Blaine's.

"Every word, and let me say it was quite entertaining, I even snuck a few glances to see your faces…priceless," He laughs again and waltzes out of the room again to the kitchen.

I turn to Blaine, who had crouched down to look at the movie collection on a shelf against the wall.

"Shall we go then?" I ask, moving to get my shoes by the front door.

"Of course, do you think it would be safe to kiss you in the car? You don't thing you're mothers in there waiting to lecture us, do you?"

He could have been totally joking, or completely serious. I would never be sure.

"Yes you can kiss me," I smile and add boldly, "anywhere you want."

Blaine raises an eyebrow and walks swiftly passed me, opening the door; he's such a gentleman.

"After you, Mr. Hummel," he moves to bow slightly and lets me pass through the doorway to the warm summer air.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Anderson." (Writer: I think that's Blaine's last name :/)

I walk along the side walk, avoiding all the cracks. What? I love my step mom... I get inside his old truck and shut the door. When I found out Blaine drove a rusty old truck I was a little surprised, but I have come to like it a lot. He gets into the driver's seat and starts the truck; it takes a few tries until the engine powers up.

"So where are we going?" I ask; excitement eminent in my voice.

"I was thinking maybe we could go to a movie, there playing dirty dancing at the theatre today. Would you like to go?" I know he already knows that I would LOVE to go there. Patrick Swayze is super sexy in that movie! Blaine has also confessed his love to Mr. Swayze; may he rest in peace.

Blaine smiles at my reaction; I started to grin a lot, I'm assuming,

"I'm guessing it's a yes then?" He starts to back the truck out of the driveway while we laugh, until a silence takes over the interior of the truck. Not an awkward silence, God knows we've had enough of that for the day. But it's a nice silence, he moves his hand to hold mine; I look down and love the feel of his fingers intertwined with mine. Our eyes lock together, like they always seem to do,

"Keep your eyes on the road, love," I chuckle; he blushes and looks back through the windshield,

"O-oh sorry," I can't help but keep staring at his perfect profile… I can't believe he's mine, all mine. I want nothing more than to show him how much I love him.

He's the one who saved me from my loneliness and now, well, I'm pretty fuckin' happy.

Authors notes:

I really enjoyed writing this first chapter I love Klaine so much! Haha more chapters coming soon for sure! With a bit of fluff…ok a lot of fluff!

Thanks so much for reading! Be sure to read the next chapter when it comes out….what will happen when they go to a dark movie theatre? Hmm ….


	2. Date

I have butterflies in my stomach, being a result of holding tight to Blaine's hand as we walk towards the theatre; I've finally gotten used to holding my boyfriend's hand in public. At first I was always self-conscious about the stares of disapproval that people emitted our way…but I've gotten used to it. They can go fuck themselves. I deserve to have someone that loves me. Everyone does.

His strides are much longer than mine due to the fact that he's slightly taller (which I love) so I have to jog a little to keep up. There aren't very many cars here at 6pm so I smile slightly at the fact that the theatre probably won't be very crowded for the 6:30 showing.

We reach the door and Blaine, being the perfect gentleman that he is, holds it open for me. Our hands break apart for the briefest moment only to be happily reunited seconds later. His palm is warm against mine and just this little bit of contact sends the butterflies flying again. You know, that feeling like even though it's great now you know it will get even better? That's the feeling I have right now…things are so perfect; but when I'm with Blaine they always seem to get better and better.

He leads me over to the ticket counter while I people watch. There's an old couple holding hands…I love seeing that kind of love; the kind that never dies, the kind that never will end in a divorce. There's a teenager behind the concessions stand; probably one from McKinley since I recognize him a bit…I'm pretty sure his name is Derek or Devin or maybe Daryl…something that starts with a D I'm positive. And there's a man and two young girls, probably his kids, in the nearby arcade room.

Blaine lets go of my hand again so he can get out his wallet from the back pocket of his skinny jeans that, to my great liking, fit tightly around his *ahem* could I say package?... Well, let's just say he looks _very _attractive.

"Have a good day," the man behind the ticket counter mumbles without any emotion, not even looking at us.

"You too my dear sir!" I say enthusiastically in a sarcastic tone. He looks at me funny and then looks down at my and Blaine's joined hands and makes an 'hmph' noise.

We walk into the main lobby area, ignoring the stupid dumbass's reaction. (Blaine has been slowly teaching me to ignore homophobic comments and avoid sending their poison back at them) I turn back towards the guy while Blaine isn't looking and stick my tongue out at him; sadly, he isn't looking.

"You're such a dork," Blaine quickly flashes a smile at me as we make our way to the popcorn stand.

"what? You saw that?" I ask, using an innocent tone, "I thought I should show him the same amount of glee he showed us."(writer: HAHA! Yes glee pun!...even though it doesn't make much sense) I reply sarcastically and shrug.

Blaine rolls his eyes in a teasing way and mumbles, "yeah, you show him Kurt," as we reach the counter.

"One large popcorn and one large Mountain Dew please," I rush to say before Blaine can say anything to the guy first. I'm paying for the food if he's paying for the tickets; it's my personal rule even though Blaine always objects,

"No, no, I'll get it," sure enough, Blaine grabs hold of my arm, stopping me from reaching for my wallet.

"No Blaine, I got it, please just let me pay for you," I hate the idea of him having to pay for me all the time; he may be rich and all but I like the idea of me providing things for him too… hopefully I'll be able to do that forever…

"Kurt…"

"Nope, I'm paying and that's how it'll stay."

He knows he can't win, I'm too stubborn to give up and he knows it. He lets out a sigh, "Fine." I know that he hates defeat… but he'll deal with it because, well, he _likes_ me. He always seems to want to make me happy, and I love him for it. I suppose paying for popcorn is kind of a lame example but the point is…he loves me for _me_; even if I can be a stubborn brat sometimes.

The guy behind the counter had been zoning out during the little dumb argument. I look at his name tag and see that my guess was totally off…his name is Mason. Woops.

"And I'd like a bag of gummy worms too, please," I say, gaining back his attention. _Mason _hustles and bustles around to comply with our order. _I_ pay and we start towards the theatre that our tickets have printed on them.

I notice our hands aren't together because of the stuff currently in both of our arms; the popcorn is enticing me onward, I inhale deeply. It makes me feel a little sad…yes, I suppose I am a bit needy but, come on, a guy like me always wants to have some sort of contact with a guy like Blaine. He glances at me, but when I smile at him he quickly looks away as if he was embarrassed by me or something. What? What did I do? Do I have something in my teeth? Is there a booger on my nose? I quickly check to make sure; I must look pretty stupid, feeling my nose and all. Nope, no booger. Then what is it? Suddenly my self-esteem plummets.

The scent of the buttered popcorn meets my nose and my mouth starts to water even more… I've always had a weakness for popcorn. We reach the theatre room at the very end of the hall where our movie will start in about ten minutes. As we walk in I notice, to my surprise, that there really aren't that many people in this big theatre. There must be only like twenty other people in here… Blaine walks from behind me and starts to head up the steps; going to the way back corner…why would he go way back there? Oh well, I follow him trying not to spill the popcorn on this treacherous journey. I sit down next to him and situate myself, taking off my scarf and sweater; it's fuckin' hot in here. I'm kinda pissed at Blaine now that I think about it…I mean what the hell? I may sound like a drama queen, but that's just because I am a drama queen. I want to know what's up; I'm sensing some sudden tension from him that wasn't there when we arrived and I want to know why,

"So what's up anyway? Why are you acting so strange?" I ask offhandedly, even though it probably seems like an odd, random question to ask.

Blaine looks at me with a puzzled expression, "what do you mean, Kurt?"

"I mean, that…" but the lights dim down and some of the people start hushing; the commercials start rolling and I have to whisper the rest of my sentence under my breath (seeing as we're in the back, no one would be able to hear us even if I talked probably)

"Out there," I gesture down the steps, indicating the path to the entrance door, "I smiled and you looked at me funny…I don't know," I look down into my lap at my interlocked hands, my thumbs are absentmindedly battling for dominance, avoiding Blaine's eyes, I must sound like a whiny five year old, "I couldn't help but get upset…I can't help but be overly sensitive…so what was wrong?" I look up again and for some reason Blaine looks nervous now; he swallows and his Addams apple does a bob.

"U-um, well," it's his turn to look embarrassingly downward at his lap, "I was kinda watching you…and when you looked over at me I kinda got embarrassed for some reason."

I stare at him dumbfounded. Why was he watching me?

"Why were you watching me?" I blurt out; I can feel myself relaxing, though, because it seems I had read into his look from before all wrong.

He looks at me and laughs a little and begins to explain, "I was watching you because I know how much you love popcorn…when I saw your face," he pauses and laughs some more, I blush as he takes my hands and looks deeply into my eyes, seemingly searching, " You looked so handsome for some reason, as you were smelling the popcorn…this must sound so stupid, but, I don't know, it made me think how much I love you, and I want you to love me as much as you love that popcorn…" I laugh at this, I love my corny boyfriend, and smile wider as my self-esteem rockets upwards again as only Blaine can make it do.

"Don't you know," I whisper, "I already love you more than I love popcorn; I love you even more than the best popcorn in the world," I add and he says in an offhand undertone, "I'll have to find out where the best popcorn in the world comes from…perfect birthday present for you."

He smiles at me sincerely and turns to the screen as the movie starts; the dancers dancing in black and white. I turn to start watching the movie but I can't help but kiss him on the cheek, surprising him, and whisper into his ear in a husky voice, "And something else, popcorn isn't my biggest weakness ya'know. You are."

He turns his head fully towards mine and captures my lips with his own and, before I can stop myself, a soft moan escapes my lips as his hands cup my face with passion, "you shouldn't say such things to me, Kurt," he whispers against my lips, "I may not be able to control myself; even if we are in a movie theatre."

Authors notes: ok, well I guess this isn't that much of fluff… but I don't think a movie theatre is gonna work for me haha. Next chapter will be more…hmmm…. Thorough I promise!

Nest chapter coming asap!


	3. The way you feel the night

The movie ended sooner than I thought it would…probably because I couldn't escape the realization of how close Blaine was to me; his arm was around me while his hand gently caressed my shoulder and upper arm. After the movie we had gotten up in silence and left the building. Not talking the whole way until we get into the car. He looks over at me; his hands are on the wheel but the car isn't even started. I can see the want in his eyes as he slowly moves his hands to the ignition to turn the car on. He looks away and starts to back out into the theatre parking lot. He asks,

"Um… Kurt? Do you want to come to my dorm for a while?" he doesn't look at me while he asks this and I can tell he's s a little hesitant... we've been dating for over five months but…well… we haven't really gotten that far yet. I'm not stupid; I know what he's implying when he asks me to come over at nine o'clock at night. But God knows I want to more than anything…so,

"Yeah…I'd love to," I say, smiling to myself. He glances at me with slight surprise, but mostly just plain happiness.

"Cool," Is all he says before turning his attention back to the road.

We drive the rest of the way without talking…teenage dream comes on the radio and my boyfriend sings along. I love when he sings that song; he told me when he first asked me out that whenever he hears this song he thinks of me. I chuckle a little because I remember he had stumbled over his words a lot that day.

We pull into the crammed parking lot of his dorm building and I get out of the truck right when it comes to a stop to be graciously greeted by the sweet feel of summer air against my skin. I love that feeling, when I step into the warmth pressing in all around me but, somehow, not overwhelming me. Blaine steps out of the truck as I walk around the hood to greet him. His eyes flutter closed and I can't help but wonder if he loves the feeling as I do; he is the image of peace. He's beautiful. I walk over to him slowly and ask,

"What are you thinking about?"

His eyes snap open as if I had surprised him. He gives me a wide smile and cups my face in his hands; surprising me. He doesn't say anything, he just kisses me. First it's a simple kiss, one that suggests a simple gesture of welcome. But then he deepens it. His tongue lovingly runs along my lips wanting access, and, of course, I grant it right away. I moan into his mouth as he rolls his tongue over mine soothingly; his hands move from my face and run down to pull me closer to him. His arms wrap possessively around my waste. I'm kinda liking' this.

I can hear the blood pounding in my ears…I've never been kissed with so much passion. Blaine pushes my body harshly against the car driver door, pressing the whole length of his body against mine. I whisper his name with great appreciation for what he's doing to me. His lips move from mine down to my throat, kissing and sucking with an open mouth. The deep groan that comes out of my mouth echoes throughout the darkened parking lot; only the dim glow of the nearly burnt-out light posts gives light. The moon is shaded by the thin layer of clouds that covers the summer sky. His mouth is searing my skin as his hands move to tangle in my hair, which I had taken so long to style this morning; Oh well, I think I can handle it. I can feel his knee sliding between my legs so he can press his tall frame even closer. My head falls back against the car and I can't help but squeeze my eyes tightly shut from the beautiful pressure he's using against me. I move my hands up to grasp tightly to the clothing on his back. Why does there have to be clothes there?

He suddenly stops attacking my neck, to my great displeasure.

"Oh, Kurt I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me," he says as he rests his head in the crook of my neck, breathing heavily.

I definitely do _not_ like this unexpected stop… "Why the hell are you apologizing," I whisper hoarsely; my head is still back and my eyes are still tightly shut, "Fuck Blaine, please just keep doing what you were doing," I whimper pathetically. I open my eyes and tilt my head down to find him looking up at me with his sparkling light brown eyes. His lips suddenly form a sly smile and he says in the sexiest voice I've ever heard, "Kurt… my Kurt… You have no idea what you do to me, do you?"

An involuntary whimpering noise escapes my throat before I can cease it. I can barely make the words come out but I say as loudly as I can, though it is barely a whisper because my throat is so dry, "Why don't you show me?"

He laughs and kisses me on my jaw without looking away from my eyes, it's barely a brush of his lips but it makes my heart stop. I can't stand the fact that his lips aren't on mine; so I take control and crush my lips to his. Right away he opens his mouth to me and our tongues wrestle for dominance. It's the best feeling in the world.

Somewhere in this time he starts to move me towards the buildings front door, up the stairs, and thankfully, before anyone can see us he unlocks his door and we go inside his dorm room. He pushes the door closed forcefully with his hand, still holding me close to him with the other.

I feel pressure against my back and realize he had pushed me against the door and was now ravishing my neck again. His body is pressed so close to mine that nothing could ever have a chance of getting between us. I run my hands down his back and want nothing more than to get this evil shirt off of him. I pull at the bottom and he moves back slightly from me to get the offending article off. He takes it and pulls it over his head and off his body; throwing it back away from us. His lean torso is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. We've never actually got to the point of no shirt before so right away I can feel my face turn red. I have to feel him again.

I move closer to him and lightly place my fingers on his pecs, pushing him slowly back towards his dark bedroom. I don't take my eyes away from him as we move slowly. A silent conversation is happening between us; I know exactly where this is going and so does he. I look down at his bed and he takes my hands as he sits down. He brings me close to him and I kneel in front of his seated form on the bed. I take his head in my hands, lightly running my fingers through his hair, and we stay frozen in this embrace for a while.

After what could have been ours he slowly begins to take of my shirt; Kissing my stomach and chest as he moves it up my body. I whisper his name softly as he throws it to the floor and starts to give open mouth kisses all over my lean torso. I can feel his tongue running along my skin, tasting my flesh. His hands are resting lightly on my hips now and his thumbs are caressing my hipbone lightly.

"Blaine. Blaine. Blaine…" I can't stop whispering his name under my breath. His hands move to begin a light-touch pathway up and down my back. I can barely handle the pleasure of it.

He pulls me down with him as he lays on his back; our body's press closely together and my skin is seared by the heat of him. Just the contact of our upper body's is enough to send me over the edge. I can barely think straight. All I can feel is the kisses he's placing on my neck now and his hands continuous journey along my back.

His hands finally stop and come to rest on my lower back; they just lay there. I want to kiss him again. I swear he can read my mind as he moves his mouth up along my jawline to my lips and lightly places kisses first on the corner of my mouth, then on my chin, then a peck on my nose. I smile; he smiles. Then my smile is covered by his lips.

"I want your smile forever," he whispers against my lips; he kisses me delicately.

He takes it unbearably slowly; He teases me with his tongue. Running it along my bottom lip, but when I open my mouth to welcome him he withdraws himself away from me. I'm starting to get a little frustrated after the fifth time he does this, "Blaine, come on!" I whine. He laughs at me and I get even more frustrated; does he not realize how much he's torturing me?

Well, let's see if he can resist me. I move my mouth down to his neck and begin my assault. It's my turn to make his head spin.

I brush my lips lightly on the place where his shoulder and neck began their curve into each other. I've noticed before that this is his weak spot. I hear his breathing hitch and his laughing stop, a groan escapes his mouth as I kiss this sacred spot openly; tasting the salty sweat developing on his skin.

"Kurt," he hisses through his teeth. My hands grab onto either side of him; I guide his body up the bed until his head can rest on the pillow. I kiss his closed eyelids subtly and bring my lips close to his ear, "Can I kiss you now?" He lets out a breathless laugh, "Sure."

I kiss his lips. His hands move to face. I can feel his thumbs bring my eyelids closed. I do the same and as I brush my thumb over his eyelid; I can feel it's damp. I back away in surprise, holding myself up with palms resting on either side of his head, and look down at Blaine, "Why are you crying?"

His sober face looks up at me and a slight sad smile paints his face, "I don't know," he whispers. His hands are still resting on my face; I can feel my eyes beginning to tear up, "Kurt, I just love you so much."

A laugh escapes my mouth, it's unbelievable… "How did I get so lucky?" I ask him through my smile, "you saved me, Blaine… you saved me."

He hugs me, then, and I've never felt closer to him. I want to love him; forever.

"Make love to me Blaine," I say simply into his shoulder. I don't want this, I need it. I need him; I want him to have me forever.

"Kurt..." He whispers and strokes my hair. I can feel the tears streaking down my face. He moves me on my stomach and places kisses as he moves slowly down my back. When he reaches my jeans he slides them down, along with my boxers, over my ankles and off; he throws them to the floor. I twist around to see him unbuckling his jeans, "let me do that."

He looks at my face with surprise, but when he sees my fully naked form kneeling up on the bed he looks away and blushes. We're both so new at this…but somehow, it just feels natural. My arms rise so my hands can unbuckle his belt; I'm shaking so much but somehow manage to slide his belt form the hoops and unbutton his skinny jeans. I slide them off; his boxers come with them to his ankles. He climbs on top of me and kicks the clothes to the floor. I can feel _him_ hard against me. I blush. One more tear escapes from behind my eye unhindered and rolls down my cheek. Blaine kisses it away.

"Are you sure, Kurt?" He asks with all seriousness.

"Yes," is all I say.

He delicately turns me over onto my stomach again as if I could break at any sudden moment. I lay my head on the pillow and wait patiently. I hear Blaine open his bed side tables' drawer. Then a noise as he opens the condom.

I take in a breath; I feel his hands move along under me to grip around my abdomen as he lowers himself to me. I feel him right outside of me and as he lowers himself into me further my breathing stops. My eyes clench shut from the pain of him moving down fully inside of me and a muffled groan escapes my lips as I bury my head in the pillow.

"Should I stop?" he asks me with a tone full of concern.

"No…please don't, I'll get used to it," I say, lifting my head slightly from the pillow…

He doesn't stop. He starts to move faster, plunging deeper into me each time. He crouches closer over me and his mouth is right by my ear. The pain slowly eases away and soon is overtaken by the sheer pleasure of our love making. Both of our breathing becomes heavier and I can feel myself coming closer and closer to the edge. The friction between us is beautifully unbearable. I scream his name as sweat forms all over my body.

I can feel his hand move under me to grasp around my throbbing manhood and he begins to slide his hand up and down. Faster and faster.

"Oh, Kurt," he groans into my ear, "I'm almost there."

So am I, but I can't find the words to say this. He moves faster still and goes deeper still. I say his name again and again and lose it completely. I scream his name one last time as I spill all over his hand. He follows me over this glorious cliff soon after and I can feel him explode inside of me as he yells my name with the greatest desire.

I can feel all his weight tense up and collapse on me. His hand slides out from underneath me as he kisses my shoulder gingerly and whispers a soft, "I love you," in my ear.

He rolls off of me and suddenly I'm cold. We lay there unmoving for minutes until I finally find the strength to get under the bedspread. He follows me within this warm capsule and brings the blanket over our heads. We lay staring at each other with the utmost compassion. He kisses me on the nose again; I smile and whisper a breathless, "I love you too," and add, "You should always know this," as he snuggles in closer to me. Our legs are tangled together and his arms wrap around me; I feel safe.

Our breaths are finally slow and deep again, and growing deeper. I can feel my eyes closing so I can't see him anymore. I don't want to stop seeing him but sleep unwelcome, takes me.

Blaine moves his hand to my cheek and kisses me on my forehead, closing his eyes in the process, "Get some sleep, love."

I rest my head against him, just below his jaw and whisper his name one last time before I fall… "Blaine…"


	4. Morning After

I wake up slowly. My vision is blurry at first, as my mind starts to remember past events a smile comes about my lips. I turn my head and there he is. Sleeping soundly like an angel; His arm rests over my stomach as if he was trying to pull me closer. I turn my head to the bedside table and look at the clock: 9:37 A.M.

I pull out from under his arm trying not to wake him. He doesn't stir. I turn and grab my phone to check it … five new texts from Finn saying how the parents are super worried and four missed calls from my dad…. Damn, how will I explain this one? I look over at Blaine and think that it's totally worth the consequences I'm bound to get from my parents. I stand up as quietly as I can and start the search for my clothes…

My boxers are hanging off a trophy for tennis or something; I wonder if it's Blaine's. I pull those on quickly and glance around for my jeans and t-shirt. My shirt's hanging off the headboard right above Blaine and my Jeans are lying haphazardly about a foot from my feet under Blaine's boxers. I grab for my jeans and pull them on, walking swiftly over to the bed to get my shirt. As I'm reaching for them Blaine suddenly breathes in a deep breath of sleep, forcing my gaze down to his face…then I start to bring my eyes downward…then I realize the covers are just above his waste… just above his unclothed *ahem*…I feel myself blushing and my palms start to get clammy; as I try to get the shirt my hand slips off the wooden rail and I fall right on top of Blaine.

"AARRGGHH," Blaine bolts straight up, "What the fuck! Holy Shit! What the motherfucking fuck?" His chest is rising and falling rapidly. I look up at him with a face that I'm trying to make look apologetic but I can't help but laugh,

"Good-morning Blaine, you seem all bright and cheery " His face looks like he has seen a ghost and his breathing is almost louder than it was last night…

I get up off of him and sit at the edge of the bed still laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" he asks exasperatedly, "you just scared me half to death!"

"I'm not really sure…I guess I've learned something new about you already today,"

He looks puzzled so I explain, "Well, each day I try to learn something new about you, anything, just by watching you. And, well today I've learned my boyfriend absolutely freaks out if woken up suddenly, I must admit, it was kinda entertaining; I think I'll do it again."

I say this with what I suspect is a smug smile, "I mean, who freaks out _that_ much?" I look away out the window and chuckle a bit.

I glance over at him again and see him smiling slyly; I sober up immediately. He bounds at me and pushes me so I'm lying on the bed; his hands holding my wrists up above my head, pinning me down, "Well, I've learned something about you too…last night, that is," He smiles down at me and then starts to lower his lips to the exposed skin on my chest. He brushes light and feathery kisses lower until he's right above the waist band of my jeans; my breathing hitches, "I noticed a very sensitive area last night," Oh jeez…I'm in for it now, "right," He pulls off my jeans with a swift motion, seeing as they weren't even done up yet, and brings his mouth right by my cock; he breathes out a breath of warm air over me, "here." I groan and laugh at the same time (it must sound weird) [*author's not: "I wonder what that sounds like"], "isn't that a sensitive area for any man?" I ask, barely managing to control myself. He laughs and whispers while locking his eyes with mine, enveloping me with more moist, hot air, "I suppose so," my mind is buzzing from what I know is to come,

"Ok," I say stupidly, "I suppose my family can worry for a few more hours…"

I walk through the door and am immediately bombarded with yelling. My dad must have been waiting by the door all morning; well I guess it's afternoon now…

"Where on _earth_ have you been, Kurt! Carol and I have been worried sick!"

Oh…shit, now I'm really in for it. I just stand here in the doorway silently. I don't really know what I could possibly say to make this situation any better; so I choose silence instead.

My dad's eyes narrow and his arms are crossed across his chest, "Well, where were you?" He asks me again with an eerily quiet voice.

I find my voice, "with…Blaine," it'll be found out eventually so why not get it over with? I shift my weight slightly awaiting his reply. I wait. He stares. I wait more. He stares more. It's all quite nerve-racking…and finally after what seems like years (slight exaggeration. And when I say slight I mean _slight_…),

"Should I even ask what you two were _doing_? Even though I have a pretty good idea; I have a feeling you weren't just playing scrabble all night." Yep, I'm fucked. I'll just tell him the truth, well kind of the truth,

"Well…he took me to his place and we ended up…watching TV 'til real late and I kinda…fell asleep," I pray this lie will suffice. I'm crossing my fingers in my mind.

My father cocks an eyebrow my way and gives me the 'you're so full of bullshit' look. Just then, though, Finn walks around the corner.

"Whoa! Déjà vu," he makes a big show of stumbling back and blinking in surprise, "did I or did I not just walk in on this scene yesterday?" He walks over to my dad and places a sarcastic hand on his shoulder, "So tell me, how far Mr. Kurt and Mr. Blaine got this time? Was there lots of _touching_?" He waggles his eyebrows at me like a dumb pedophile and snorts with laughter…he's seriously immature. It pisses me off slightly and I can tell father dearest would say the same,

"Shut up Finn," we say at the same time and look at each other slightly taken aback.

"Fine, Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted," He walks by in front of me to the stairs and mouths something that looks a lot like 'your fucked'. My thoughts exactly.

"So…dad, um, so I think I'm gonna go to my room…if that's OK," I say tentatively.

After a while of deep thought he finally uncrosses his arms and takes a step towards me just close enough to clap me on the shoulder,

"Listen, Kurt, I know what it's like to be a teenager and what being your age entails…I want you to learn from your _own_ mistakes and be independent," He sighs and looks at me with his wise eyes, "I've never been one to hold your hand constantly and guide you through life, and I never will be…just please, be careful and please call or something so I know that you're safe; I was really worried."

He pulls me into a hug that I return back. The aura in the room switched lightning fast and I'm kind of shocked…but really, really grateful. I start to feel the emotions rising up inside me…

I'll always love my dad…I'm so grateful that he lets me be _me_…what else could a son ask for? I can feel the lump coming to my throat and I have to try to fight back tears,

"I love you dad," I say.

"I love you too son…"

He pulls away and looks at me with a mix of sadness and happiness… it's a look that I've seen in his features before. Suddenly I remember a moment from so long ago…

"_Dad why am I like this? Why can't I like girls too? It's not fair."_

"_Son, don't listen to those kids OK? I don't care who you love as long as you love them dearly and they make you happy…just always remember that I want you to be happy."_

_He smiles down at me with that knowing smile of his…_

…Yes, I came out to my dad first. I didn't really know what 'coming out' meant but I told him who I liked back in 6th grade…I'm sure he expected it to be a name like, Kaitlin, Ashley, or Claire; a girl name. But it wasn't. It was Trevor, and he was another boy in my grade that I had a crush on. Back then, I didn't know it was thought of as disgusting to most…I just found it natural to me; to want to be with a man for the rest of life, to love another man. I soon found out that it wasn't_ natural_ to everyone. And the bullying started around 8th grade. I was always depressed or trying to hide away from other people…but then my dad was _there_ for me, looking at me with that sadness-happy look. I knew what it meant right away…He was sad for me; that I had to endure this. But, I was his son, his very own flesh and blood. And to him, I am the reason for his happiness. After mom passed he still had me and I still had him, and he'd always love me. He would defend me, he would comfort me, and he would always be there for me when I needed him; like right now I do,

"I love him dad, I really, really, really do."

"I know…and I'm so happy for you Kurt."

At first I walked through the door and he was pissed at me, yelling at me. But now, odd enough, we're standing here hugging and bonding. Life is strange.

My ceiling is bumpy for some reason. Ya'know I've never understood why it's like that…maybe as it dries the paint drips down and dries that way… I do a start as I feel my cell phone vibrate loudly by my ear, where apparently it had landed somehow before the damn ceiling got me into a trance, and sit up straight.

_how's it going?_

Its Blaine… wow…I just remember we had_ sex _(don't judge me I'm amazing)_. _For some reason this is just starting to sink in. I decide that I should text back,

_Good. It was weird when I got home tho, my dad didnt seem to be too angry I didnt even get in trouble_

I hit the lit up send button and lay back down on my back….we had _sex_

I start remembering it in my mind; the way his hands seemed to burn through my skin. The way he smiled against my lips made me feel loved; safe. God, I miss him now…

*buzz* I jump a little again… _well thats good isnt it? Im glad that he didnt ban u from seeing me_

I can't bear the thought of that happening. Being without Blaine would be like no water; I simply wouldn't survive.

_I didnt tell him exactly what happened. I don't know if I could handle being without you for more than 24 hours_

I smile at my phone stupidly and cross my legs on the bed. I glance at my clock- 7:00 already?

The day flew by, but considering that since I got home and the crisis of the father resolved I've just been sitting on my bed daydreaming about…certain things, I'm not too surprised. So what now? More than anything I want to see Blaine- _You kno I feel the same way about u…kurt I think we should talk face to face about what happened last night_

I can feel my heartbeat start to go faster; he makes it sound like what we did was a bad thing.

_Yea. I agree_

I keep telling myself that emotions and reasons can't be realized through text messages… but that doesn't stop me from being paranoid.

I get off my bed for something to do because now I've made myself fidgety; I'm an idiot, I do this to myself more often than normal. Always taking things out of context is what I do best.

I pull on my navy blue pajama bottoms and matching button up pajama shirt. I've never been one to sleep in boxer shorts; that's Blaine's preference I noticed one time when I came into his dorm a few weeks ago to surprise him, only to find him sprawled out on his bed in his underwear with the covers kicked off and bundled at his feet. I had rushed out and still haven't told him…he might take away my key (I doubt it, but still).

My phone buzzes and I read the text: _wat do u say about tomorrow for coffee?_

Sounds great, _Yea of course_. _what time?_

The only thing I want right now is to see Blaine again. And now I'm excited like a kid at a candy store. My phone buzzes in my hand and reads; _I'll pik u up round 7?_

Why does he have to be such and early bird? Its god damned summer… _yeah sounds good_

He doesn't text after that because I guess he doesn't have anything else to say…not even a little 'I luv u' text. I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little bummed about it.

It's now 11:12p.m. and I know I should go to bed… but before I do I grab my cell phone off the bedside table and text a little 'I luv u' message to Blaine because I know I need to. I pull the covers over my head and wish I was snuggled in next to Blaine.


	5. Life changes in the blink of an eye

I wait by the door impatiently for Blaine. The rest of the family is still sleeping because it's fucking summer and its fucking 6:56 in the morning. I had left a note on the kitchen table so they have no need to worry about me today. There's this odd feeling in the back of my mind…like something isn't right with the world at this moment. I'm a bit out of it today I'll admit but, I don't know, it feels as if I'm more out of place than usual. Maybe I'm just imagining things…

My thoughts are interrupted as I see Blaine's old truck pull up the driveway; 7:00, he's always right on time. I walk out the door and turn to lock it; when I turn around I see Blaine getting out of the driver's side and making his way to the passengers. He opens the door for me as I walk over the pavement to him and we exchange 'thank yous' and 'you're welcomes'.

As he starts the car I can feel the awkwardness building in the atmosphere…fuck, this might be difficult. (Have you guessed I'm in a bad mood?) Blaine is the first to break the silence, and I'm grateful for it,

"So um… Kurt you know what happened."

"Yes," is all I say, worried like hell to what he'll say next. He turns to me and I look at him; he smiles kindly at me,

"I don't regret it," I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, "and um… well…" he trails off and then seems to collect himself,

"I love you," he lets out in one breath. The odd feeling like nothing was right with the world seems to melt away from me as my fear turns into a silly worry. There's something about _this_ time that makes it special, I mean, sure we said I love you after about two months of dating but this seems more real. We've said I love you to each other _and_ we've shown it to each other. And suddenly I'm the happiest person in the world.

I look at his profile and notice he looks nervous, oh yeah! "I love you too," I say sincerely; his expression changes to relief.

He chuckles a bit and says, "For a second there I thought you weren't gonna say it back…"

"Blaine, you should always know I love you," I say through a grin.

He stops as the light turns red and looks over to me again with determination in his eyes, "Kurt, do you regret it?"

I know exactly what he's talking about and the only answer I will ever have is,

"No, I'm glad."

He looks as if he just had the heaviest weight off of his shoulder, "Oh my god you have no idea how worried I was. I mean what it if you hated me now because of it? I thought, maybe, you would think it was a mistake. Or that you didn't love me…god I don't know why I was so worried but I was. I love you. I love you more than anything," i kiss him softly on the lips and it seems to surprise him; he kisses me back again before whispering, "I love the way you wear scarves even in the summer," I laugh at this because anyone in their right mind wouldn't wear scarves in 85 degree weather; but that's the thing, I'm not in my right mind.

I notice the light turning green and whisper back, "I love the way you don't go on a green light."

"Wha-" He looks momentarily confused but realization dawns on him when people start honking their horns, "oh!"

He turns back to the wheel and pushes down the gas pedal, "oh shut up, I was kissing my boyfriend," he mumbles to no one in particular as I roll my eyes and laugh.

He turns into the coffee shop and we both step out of the truck to be hit with the sweet smell of summer air and pastries. I breathe in deeply while closing my eyes. Damn do I love summer; no school work to keep me away from Blaine.

He walks over to me and takes my hand in his, turning to me and smiling reassuringly as he does so. We walk into the bustling coffee shop and I can already feel a few stares in our direction. Just ignore them. They'll get over it after they realize there's no point in gawking at us. That's what I don't understand…can't people just mind their own business and not get caught up in things that don't have anything to do with them? [*mini author rant] An old woman that looks as if she just got back from a church meeting scowls at me and I give the sweetest smile I can muster. I feel Blaine's hand squeeze mine and I glance over to him questioningly; he's giving me a warning look…whatever. I stick out my tongue at him and he scoffs and rolls his eyes, stepping up to the counter.

He orders my coffee because he knows what I want and I look around the familiar area. The bright red lounge chairs are almost all full of people toying with their laptops or simply reading a book while sipping coffee. I need to text Mercedes later…we haven't hung out for almost a whole two days. We used to spend all our time here together before I met Blaine, gossiping about the latest celebrity news or rating the men who walk into the shop according to our hotness scale:

1-2: 'if he touches me I'll scream'

3-4: 'worse than listening to Rachel's 'I'm gonna be a star' rant'

5-6: 'eh, maybe'

7-8: 'yeah'

9: 'hellz yes!"

10: "please do me now!"

As anyone would guess Blaine is a flaming 10 in my book. He turns around and hands me my coffee. I had been too busy daydreaming about him shoving me down over an oak table and ripping my clothes off to notice he had paid for my coffee.

"Blaine! You know I hate when you pay for me!"

"I don't want to hear it Kurt. It's been done," he bows his head remorsefully and I can't help but laugh at his dorky-ness a little.

"I'm paying next time."

"You're hot," he says with a shrug. I'm not surprised by his randomness because he does it all the time whenever he wants to change the subject.

"So are you," he has succeeded in changing the subject.

"But you're_ hotter_."

I raise an eyebrow, "You really wanna start this?_ Really_?"

He smiles his playful smile and walks me over to a little table by the window.

"You look nice today Kurt. You're so amazing I could look at you all day."

He does this _all_ the time. I can't help but blush. I decide I'll play along because I love to be praised, even with creepy pickup lines (I am c'est magnifique no?). We move our heads in together and begin our game,

"If you were a vegetable you'd be the spiciest pepper on the planet because you spice up my life," I say with a suggestive whisper. It's quite possibly the corniest sentence to ever come out of my mouth; I am proud.

He waggles his eyebrows at me and asks, "Were you born in the forest?" I give him a genuinely confused look; I don't know where he's going with this one.

"'Cuz you're a_ fox_."

Wow.

He pulls a molester-ish face and blows a kiss my way. He does the best molester face I've ever seen. I catch the kiss in my hand and bring it to my lips. I open my hand and kiss my palm. Damn, if anyone is watching us they'd thing we were mentally challenged or something. And I digress…

"When God made you my dear Blaine," Pause for effect, "he was showing off."

"Ooh, that one just won you my heart my friend; even though you had it the moment I met you."

Oh shit. He's said it. I'm broken from my lovey-dovey trance for a moment and remember that name: Jeremiah. I didn't have his heart right away.

He notices a change in my features and asks,

"What's wrong?"

I don't feel like bringing that up. It was almost 6 months ago… but now I'm remembering how much it hurt me when he told everyone, including me, that he liked another person; it made me feel as if I wasn't good enough…but that was then and this is now. He loves me now. He loves _me_ now.

"It's nothing," I say off-handedly and try to give a smile; he looks at me as if he can see right through the lie, "honestly," I add.

He leans back against his chair and takes a sip of his drink, "fine. If that's the way you want it. Don't tell me the truth."

He's making me feel guilty…damn him. Fine. Fine. Fine! If he wants to get into a damn fight I'll tag along. I narrow my eyes at him,

"Fine. The name Jeremiah came to mind, do you know why?" I can hear the acid in my words; why do I have to be such an asshole? Blaine didn't even do anything. Well at least not at this moment…

"Oh come on Kurt! That was forever ago! I don't even talk to the guy anymore!"

It's true, but for some reason I'm still feeling bitter about the whole situation. To tell the truth, I kinda always have been annoyed by it deep down. It sounds so dumb…but there's a reason that I can give if he ever asks me why I still carry around a little bitterness.

And now it's all coming back to me. Fucking Valentine's Day. He acted as if he wanted me for the nearly four months we were together before that day. That had never happened to me before so I was happy. I Just waited for him to make the move that I was so sure would happen. To have a spontaneous kiss all of a sudden, to have him ask me out of the blue for a date. I was so sure that he was going to do it too. 100% positive. But I was naïve. I had helped him get his Valentine's wish by sticking up for his request. I thought it was for me. And it felt like a punch in the gut when he announced to the Warblers that he wanted to perform at the GAP. My first thought was 'why?' so I spoke up and asked. That's when he said it 'oh, the guy I like works there'. My smile slipped off my lips and all I could tell myself was 'Wow. I'm such and idiot.' I was so sure it was me. But I was oh so wrong. And what I did that night? Well I cried. A lot. And I went to Rachel and Mercedes for comfort. But even they don't know how much that day crushed me.

Nobody really realizes how much I cried during the time before Blaine. Then I met him and he gave me courage, I didn't cry at all because of him. But then _he_ was the one to make me feel insignificant. _He_ finally was the reason why I cried; Not the reason I didn't.

Well now I feel like shit. Great. I still haven't gotten over it; probably because Blaine never apologized.

"I'm not feeling too well. I think you should take me home."

Blaine knows I'm lying. He knows that something else is wrong by the way he's looking at me.

"Fine. But I don't believe you," he says with a uncharacteristic nasty tone.

And now I'm scared. This hasn't ever happened. I've never heard him use such a mean voice. Why did this happen? We were so happy not even ten minutes ago…why did it change?

I bet the other people can feel the angry aura around us as we move to the door. We get into the truck and it's silent. I'm sad now…I'm not going to allow us to be mad at each other. I love him too much,

"Blaine?"

"Hmph?"

Ok Kurt, the truth will set you free. Who came up with that piece of bullshit? I look at him and he doesn't take his eyes off of the road (which is good except for the fact that I can't see his face as well).

"About Jeremiah… I don't know, this will sound stupid, I guarantee… but Blaine, that Valentine's Day was the shittiest one I've ever had and you never apologized for it."

"What exactly do I have to apologize for?" he asks me with disbelief. Well way to go Blaine! Just make me more pissed at you. Yeah. That'll work. That'll make _everything_ better.

Then my phone vibrates. I look at the caller ID and see its Carol. I press the talk button. I bring it to my ear and say hello. And then it feels as if my world really is falling apart. The feeling from this morning comes back to me; as if something was wrong. And something is very wrong.

I feel the tears coming to my eyes. I cover my mouth to hide the sobs threatening to break through. I hang up the phone and it drops to the floor. Why is this happening?

Blaine had pulled over at some point and I look out the window. We're on the side of the road that's within woods not too far from my neighborhood. He looks at me with the greatest concern; our argument forgotten for the moment; but I know it will show up again. He lifts up the cup holder/armrest in the middle of the seat and slides over to me so he can wrap me in an embrace.

"What happened?"

"It's my dad," I say, burying my face in his shoulder, "he's back in the hospital. It happened again."


	6. Distraction

The next few days were a haze. After I was forced to leave the hospital I went to Blaine's dorm; nothing happened though…Carol said it was fine; she knew I needed him. There was no change with my dad. He was still in a comatose state. The doctors had tried to explain what had happened. It was all mumble-jumble to me. I knew the second heart attack is worse than the first. I knew that he's alive; but he's not_ there_ anymore. He's not there to talk, he's not there to yell, and he's not there to come in as I make out with my boyfriend. He's simply…not there.

I miss him more than I can explain, and I've noticed Blaine has been keeping his distance. He hasn't kissed me once since before everything happened; he's barely even talked me.

I miss him now, too.

Carol seemed completely broken. When I had walked into the hospital the first time Finn was trying to calm her down with no luck. I could see the tears in his eyes too but he looked so calm. Seeing Carol like that made me feel the worst I've ever felt. This can't be happening is all I thought, over and over. Blaine held my hand tight but I could barely feel anything. It was the worst day of my life.

The new directions came in too with flowers and cards for me and my family the next day. But what the hell can things like that do? Nothing.

And now one month later and still nothing's changed.

xXxXxXx

"Kurt, um, can we talk?" I look up from my book. I've shut myself in my room for the past three weeks aside from going to my dad; and apparently Carol finally sent my weakness. Blaine.

"Fine," I look down and carefully mark the place I was reading by folding down a corner of the page and then bring my attention back to Blaine, "What?"

I can't help but be annoyed by the fact that he's just now wanting to talk to me after almost four weeks of nothing …not even a text message. Of course, I have been quite cold to everyone; I didn't even answer my phone when Mercedes called yesterday and two weeks ago and…basically every day... I just don't feel like talking…or I do; I don't really know what I want. But now I suppose it's forced upon me.

"I've been worried about you," he closes the door quietly and walks over to sit on my bed.

"Oh really? Oh well that explains all the texts and calls I've been getting from you,"

Sarcasm seeps through my words and floats in the air adding to the fast developing tension in the room. Blaine seems to physically wince at my tone but looks at me pitifully none the less.

"I know, and I'm really sorry, Kurt, but I didn't know what I would even say… I was scared," His words seem genuine. I still feel terribly sad.

"Yeah," I turn away and look at the clock. 8:47 P.M. Suddenly I need to forgive Blaine. He's the only thing that can take me away from all this. "I suppose nothing will make my dad come back. I hate this."

I feel arms wrap around me and for some reason I'm frozen. I don't hug back; I simply _can't. _I haven't felt human contact for nearly a month and, I guess, my body became used to feeling nothing. And now it's all new again; to feel arms embrace me.

"Kurt," he pulls me closer so I'm resting my head in the crook of his neck; my arms resting at my sides. Why am I so surprised? Why can't I move? I want to hold him back. To hold onto the one person I will always need to be there for me; aside from my dad.

"I'll always be here for you," he whispers.

And that statement is all it takes for me to start crying. I haven't cried since the first day of this mess and I feel so much better to just, cry I guess. But now the question is how do I stop?

I laugh and pull away as tears streak my face, "do you see what you do to me? Now my face will be puffy and red."

Blaine smiles slightly with relief as I continue to laugh at myself, "You'll always be the most handsome person to me, even when your face is puffy," and now we're close again.

We talk then. Well, I try to talk through my tears that won't cease and Blaine listens. Soon we're lying on my bed; my head is resting on his shoulder as his fingers run through my hair. I tell him stories about my dad and I from so long ago and he listens. After an hour I stop crying (my body probably ran out of tears) and sleep starts to take me into its arms.

"Bla-aaaine," I say his name through a yawn, "promise you'll be here in the morning."

"I promise."

I smile up at him and I see his eyelids drift close, "thank you," I whisper and close my eyes.

I barely here him when he says he loves me; but I still do.

XxXxXxX

I wake up and sure enough; Blaine is still right next to me. I lay there a while not really sure why I'm supposed to be upset, just knowing that I am. And then I remember; my dad. I breathe a deep sigh and look up at Blaine. He's still sleeping, which is weird cuz usually I'm the one who sleeps in. I look at my clock sitting on my nightstand and its only 6:17 A.M.

I get up as carefully as I can without waking Blaine; I'm super hungry. I go downstairs as quietly as I can but the floorboards squeak never the less. I expect to find the kitchen empty but when I turn the corner I see Carol standing by the microwave smoking a cigarette. I didn't know she smoked.

She notices my presence and I can see her get flustered as she looks at her cigarette and quickly puts it out, "Kurt, I didn't think anyone would be up yet…um, yeah I smoke once in a while when I'm stressed."

I don't really care if she smokes; I understand.

"Its fine Carol," I walk over to the fridge and take out the milk, "I buy a lot of scarves when I'm upset."

She laughs and takes out another cigarette; considering she put the other one out prematurely from being startled by me. I laugh too and say, "It's a serious problem, have you seen how much they charge? Like ten bucks! It's gonna be my downfall, I guarantee."

"Oh Kurt, your such a dork, you know," she shakes her head and laughs again as I grab a box of honey bunches. I poor them in a bowl from the drying rack and put the milk in next. I am now a master chef.

"So, when did you get up?" I ask as I sit on the countertop and chow down on my cereal; the box is sitting at my right in case I need some emergency oats.

"I wish you kids would just use the chairs," she says before answering my question, "about three hours ago. I couldn't sleep."

I smile sadly at my cereal and then ask only half kidding, "You haven't been smoking that whole time have you?"

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow exactly like Finn would do, "Really Kurt? Of course I haven't…I've been gardening."

I can tell by her tone that that's not the case, but I decide to leave it be. I catch her gazing at her ring finger then and I stare down at my now cereal-less bowl full of milk (I eat my bunches fast. Don't judge) I poor more yummy goodness in my bowl,

"So I'm assuming Blaine stayed the night," I look up quickly and blush at her serious stare.

"Um…yeah, I hope that's all right…" I hope I didn't make her upset.

She smiles at me and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding, "it's all fine Kurt, I was just wondering; besides, I didn't _hear_ anything." At this, I blush even deeper. I start feverishly eating my cereal because I don't know what else to do as Carol laughs under her breath and breaths the stress-reliever into her lungs.

"Well," she put the cigarette out and looks at me, "I'm gonna run to the store to pick up a few things and I think you should go see if Blaine is up yet. He might want some food too." I hop off the counter and put my bowl in the sink, "'K Carol, thanks," I walk over to her and give her a hug. She seems surprised at first but then says,

"Oh Kurt, you're the best step son a mother could ask for."

"And you're the best step mom a son could ask for," I say over her shoulder; I mean it with all my heart.

We step back from each other and she holds my hands at arm's length, "You are so handsome," She says as a true mother would say to a true son. I laugh a little and she let's go of my hands and heads to the door, "I'll be back in about an hour and a half."

It closes.

"Thank you," I say to no one.

I walk out of the kitchen and am about to head upstairs when I see something on the couch from the corner of my eye. I slowly walk into the room because I think I know what it is; it's my dad's and Carols Wedding album. She was looking through it. I feel a lump in my throat rise as I walk around to sit on the coach.

I pick it up and place it on my lap. I can just imagine how Carol must have been feeling as she looked through it… I open to the first page and am met with a picture of Carol and my dad gazing at each other lovingly. The shot was beautifully done: Their backs are turned to the camera as they look out at the sunset, but you can see their profiles looking at each other, my dad's hand is placed gently on Carols and the light from the sun makes them look as if they're glowing.

I close the book and place it back where I found it on the cushion. I don't really feel like looking through it right now. I can't help but feel that I'll never hear my dad speak to me again. And he'll never kiss Carol again.

I go back up to my room and quietly open the door; what I see makes me panic. I run to grab for my lyric book Blaine is reading while sitting on my bed. I take him by surprise and get the book out of his hands before he even knows that I had come in.

"Do not look through this," he looks at me with a confused expression.

"Why?"

I look at him as if it's the most stupid question I've ever heard, "_Because _it's personal," I poured my soul into some of these lyrics and some of them are from when I was depressed. Not very happy-time writing.

"Well I already read through a lot of them," he says smugly, "and they're really good, Kurt," he adds seriously.

"Which ones did you read?"

His face falls, "I flipped through them, I read some from towards the end, but I read some of them in the beginning," He walks over to me as I place the book back in my drawer, "When was it that you wrote those ones?"

"Before I met you," I say simply, "Why did you read it? You should have known it was private."

"I know…I couldn't help it," he says and he looks to the floor. I hate that he read them, "Yes you could have," I can feel myself growing angrier; "You could have helped it!" Oh shit I'm yelling. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I open them again and see Blaine looking at me with a remorseful expression, "I'm sorry, Kurt. I just wanted to…I don't know."

I'm still mad. But… isn't he just trying to help? Shouldn't I be happy that someone cares enough to want to know things about me? To see a book that contains a part of me and actually taking an interest in wanting to know?

But I'm still mad. I hate emotions sometimes. It's like you try so damn hard to feel differently about something, but you can't. I want to love Blaine; not be angry at him.

He moves to leave my room but I take hold of his wrist, "What are you doing?"

He looks at me surprised, "I thought you wanted me to leave."

"…Never," I smile sadly at him and I can see he knows what I need to take my mind off things.

He rushes close to me and I feel his breath against my lips. He's barely brushing my lips with his but just at this I can feel myself losing everything. This is a good thing; a good distraction. Why didn't I do this before now? It feels so good to forget everything. He pushes me down on the bed. Wait, what am I forgetting again?

"Kurt, what about Finn?" Blaine whispers as he kisses down my neck. Who? Oh yeah.

"He's gone to a friend's house this weekend"

I feel Blaine's smile against my skin, "How convenient."

He moves his hand underneath my shirt slowly. But I don't want slowly. I squirm underneath him just enough for him to ask, "What?"

"Blaine, I am not in the mood for taking things slow. I want you _now,_" he looks down at me with an abashed look but then I think he understands. He yanks off my shirt over my shoulders and throws it to the floor before sitting up to take his off too. Before I have the chance to admire his beautiful torso he comes back down on me; pressing as much skin on skin contact. His mouth moves down to my nipple and he takes it in lightly between his teeth as his left hand travels down to undo my belt and roughly shoves my jeans down. I groan as I feel his hand sink into my boxers and take hold of my cock.

I move my hands between us and work at getting his pants down too. My hands are shaking form his hand sliding up and down my cock and on top of that we're too close together for me to get the buckle undone. Fuck this, "Blaine just get up a sec," I say slightly frustrated.

He withdraws his hand from my pants and looks at me questioningly as he get up and moves away from me. I kneel up on the bed and take off jeans and boxers and all. His face grows even redder.

"Take your boxers off," I say demandingly. Like I said, I need him _now_. He does what I say and just as they hit the floor I push him on his back and straddle his lap.

There's a sense of urgency in our eyes now. We get under the covers and I lay on top of him; I roll my hips into his and we both let out moans of sheer pleasure. I do it again and again because it feels so fucking good as we grind our cocks together and our tongues roll together. I would never know my name right now if I was asked; But Blaine seems to keep reminding me, "O shit Kurt. Kurrtt. Yes right fucking there," he suddenly flips on top of me, taking me by surprise. We're still for a bit and the throbbing down below seems to subside a little. But then he does something I've only dreamed of him doing.

He moves down my body, placing kisses here and there slowly, "Fuck Blaine I said I wanted things fast."

"Just shut up will you?" he says before gets to the place I've been waiting for. He takes me full in his mouth and starts to bob his head up and down the shaft of my cock in a delicious way that makes me break out in sweat and grab hold of the sheets screaming his name. His tongue; oh god his _tongue_! It feels so good I feel I'll burst any second.

His hands are on either side of my hips as I begin to thrust upwards. My hand moves on its own accord to grab his hair, holding his head in place as I buck even harder against him. I feel every inch of me screaming for more as he brings me even closer to the edge. Its fucking bliss is what it is. The time is lost as we keep doing this; gradually moving faster and faster.

"I'm gonna- ughh- cum Blaine!" I scream his name. The warning only makes him move faster and then he does it, his mouth swallows around my cock and I cum hard. He takes in every last drop as I collapse on the sheets in a cold sweat. "Fuck Blaine. Just Fuck."

He looks up at me from between my legs and then crawls up on top of me. He kisses me and thrusts his tongue in my mouth so I can taste it. His tongue moves over mine and I moan again into his mouth before he pulls away.

I sigh and shut my eyes, "That was the best distraction ever. I needed that."

"Anytime," he whispers.

"I think I'll take you up on that offer in the future."

He laughs and then asks, "So I'm really sorry about reading the lyrics, Kurt…even if they were really, really good."

I open one eye to look at him lying next to me, "I forgive you. I overreacted. The poems and stuff from the beginning- that time is over. I have you now," I roll on my side so I'm facing him completely, "and I'll guarantee I'll be writing a lot of silly love songs for the future."

He laughs and snuggles in closer to me, "And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know.


	7. Pulse

And now I seem to be happier. I mean my dad's still in a coma but Blaine and I spend every wonderful moment together. Things have been getting so much better now that he's back in my life all the time. We visit my dad basically every day and talk to him together even though he can't talk back; but I like to think he can hear me saying how my day has been. Blaine is always watching me from the other side of the bed as I tell my dad everything; everything about Blaine too. (Of course not _all_ the details)

Whenever we can we try to get away and spend time with each other without any questions from Carol. Finn knows exactly what we're doing but thankfully he doesn't say anything. He just makes smart-ass comments.

It's been two months of this and school will be starting up soon; my senior year at Dalton…Only one more week until the beginning of the end of high school.

"I wish this summer would never end, Blaine," I say as he kisses my neck.

"mmhmm," he says as he manages to sit me down against this huge ass tree.

"Are we really gonna get it on by a giant tree?" I ask teasingly.

He looks up at me and says, "Yeah it's always been a fantasy of mine to screw you against a tree in broad daylight."

"Ok I'm not really sure if you're kidding or serious," I say, a little nervous.

"I guess you'll find out," he starts to kiss my neck again. His hands start to wander all over my body. But then when I start to moan a little as he starts to un-tuck my shirt he stands up with a smile and I peek under my closed eyelids. His hand is extended to me like he wants to help me up,

"Wha-" I start utterly confused, "Why?" I say in a whiny voice and swat his hand away. I'll get up myself thank you very much.

"You're such a tease," I say in mock disgust as I get up and brush myself off.

He laughs and says, "Well actually the fantasy is under a huge willow tree, so… yeah I wasn't feeling this tree here," he turns away from me and I rush to grab his hand before he starts to move away, "So shall we go find us a willow tree then? These woods are pretty big."

He turns his head to me and raises one eyebrow as if to challenge me.

"Yeah I think we shall."

xXx

We eventually found a willow tree…

xXx

Two more days to school…Yay? I'll miss summer surely but I think it'll be good to have something to do other than make out with Blaine all the time…I mean, having amazing sex basically every day has to be bad for the health right? Well, I know its left me exhausted for a lot of the time… but then no more sex? Hardly ever? Ok now I'm sad…

xXx

Now it seems like talking to my dad with no response is normal. It's been almost three months since I've heard his voice.

"So schools starting up tomorrow and I'm kinda excited except I won't get to see Blaine all the time which I'm kinda bumming about. But I know it'll be good because we'll still see each other I mean just not as much as we do now. So yeah and now I'll have homework to do (I say this in a crushed voice) but Blaine's smart as hell, he's like Einstein except sexy, so he can help me out… And I've been working on a song to sing to him… I've never done that before, like, singing to him alone. What if I mess up?" I look at my dad's still face hoping for a reply but, of course, none comes, "I don't think it'll be a big deal if I do though…I think I'm gonna sing Yellow by Coldplay. Do you know that song?...i doubt you do, dad," I laugh a little, "You were never one to listen to songs not made in the dinosaur age, were you?" I start to choke up…I said _were..._that's past tense… "But anyway," I say fighting to hold back the tears threatening to come, I won't cry, "I'll show it to you next time I come here; it's such a good song. I think you'll like it… what's that band called you like so much? Deaf toucan? No it was a cat of some kind…dammit what was it? Dead Lion? No, that's not it…" I try to remember but the name escapes me of my dad's favorite band; I should know this, "You'd play that band all the time but all I seemed to hear was yelling and a hell of a lot of guitar… but they were still good because I knew you liked them. There I go again using past tense. Fuck! Oh sorry! I didn't mean to swear! I know how much you hate people swearing for no reason… but there is a reason I suppose. I'm kind of upset, right?" I had gotten up sometime in my rant and started pacing. I stop, surprised at the fact that I'm not sitting down like I had been; when did I get up?

If someone is listening without knowing the situation I may just be spending my senior year in a mental ward.

"…I wish I knew if you could hear me... or am I just talking to thin air?" his thumb twitches on his left hand… I swear I saw it! Just a little from the corner of my eye!

"Did you just move?" I ask breathlessly and place my hand over my heart as if to calm down its frantic beating to no avail.

"…I swear I saw it. I swear…" I whisper, reassuring myself and my stare is glued to my father's left hand.

"Kurt? Are you OK?" I twist around and Blaine's standing in the doorway looking concerned, "I thought you'd be here… Why did you leave this morning?" he asks a little sad. I had gotten up before him and then left without even a note.

"I just needed to take a walk, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Its fine," he moves over to me and asks again, "are you OK?"

I decide to tell him.

"Well, I was talking to my dad, like usual, and then I kept using past tense so I swore 'cuz I was mad at myself and then I said I was sorry and then I was wondering if I wasn't just talking to the air," I can hear my voice growing louder and more urgent, "and then his thumb twitched! I swear I saw it, Blaine! I swear!" I say this all very fast and I see my hands had somehow managed to grab tightly to his collar and pulled his face up close to mine. My eyes are wide and his eyes are…what? Worried? Pitying?

"Oh," he says and moves to get my hands off of his collar, "I believe you, don't worry," he adds when he understands why I'm looking at him like this.

I let out a breath and let go of him, "I swear I saw it," I mutter as I sit down… Maybe I didn't see it, though… I may have just imagined it.

I can feel myself losing hope in what I saw and what I may not have seen. I sense Blaine's presence still behind me and then his hand on my shoulder as I bury my head in my hands.

"I'll talk to you later dad. I love you," I mutter. I get up and place a kiss on his cheek.

I look to Blaine and see he's still worried about me. Then he moves to my dad and bends down to whisper in his ear. I don't hear what he says.

As we're walking out of the hospitable I have to ask, "What did you say?"

"I just said bye and I'll talk to him later."

"Then why did you whisper it so I couldn't hear?"

"I don't know," he says in a way that makes me know he's not telling the whole truth. But something in the back of my mind is telling me not to question further.

"OK," I say and see him glance at me with a confused look. Then he makes an 'hmph' noise as if he's pleasantly surprised by my response.

"I'm not always a stubborn jack-ass y'know," I say pushing him playfully, knowing that he was surprised by my lack of probing him for more on the subject.

"Riiiight," he says sarcastically.

xXx

I look over at the clock. Only ten minutes left until I can go find Blaine. It's just been one day of school and I'm already sick of it…

_"I promise this year will be a good one, Kurt," Blaine says as he pulls on his Dalton uniform, "you'll see."_

_ I've been complaining since I got up next to Blaine this morning. I'm not looking forward to school today; which is weird because I usually like school…but now it just means less time with Blaine and less time with my dad._

Three two one… _finally_

I bolt out of my desk and rush to get out the door. Blaine's last period is only a few doors down and when he sees me a smile spreads over his face,

"Kurt! So, how was the first day back?"

"It was torture," I say as I grab his hand and try to pull him back to his room at the other side of the building, "I couldn't concentrate at all and all I could think of was you. Let's go make out or something," I look over my shoulder and smile sweetly to him.

"umm Kurt…" He seems to stop and think a bit until a sly smile spreads across his lips, "Yeah, OK."

xXx

He pushes me to the bed and I fall on my back when my calves hit the side. He doesn't waste any time with pressing the full length of his body onto mine and thrusting his tongue in my welcoming mouth. We go along like this for a while, knowing exactly how and where to touch and kiss to make the other one moan and gasp with pleasure.

"Blainnne," his fingers are splayed across my now exposed torso and his lips are ravishing my neck with full force, "how was your day?... I forgot to ask," I manage to moan out because a gentleman asks his boyfriend about their day.

He lifts his head only long enough to say, "it was fine, you?" and he goes back to his previous task.

"Well it was OK I guess, I thoroughly enjoyed that time when you slammed me onto my desk in math classsss," I hiss as his hand plunges under the waist band of my pants to cup over my throbbing erection, "and began to screw me hard on top of my math book… well at least you did in my fantasy."

He laughs into my neck, "I'm glad I can give you enjoyment even when I'm not there."

Very soon we're both completely naked and covered with a sheet of sweat and he's slamming into me faster and faster until I lose it, and he covers my mouth to muffle the sound of me screaming his name.

An hour and a half passes by disguised as only seconds.

I can feel his body pressed against my back and his fingers playing with my hair like he always does after we make love.

"So… now what?" I ask, not really wanting to get up but knowing I will have to eventually.

"We could go visit your dad," Blaine suggests hopefully.

"…Yeah, OK."

I roll off the bed and begin to get dressed as Blaine watches me with hungry eyes, "you're sexy. You should just know that you drive me crazy."

I snort as I zip the fly on my jeans, "Yeah nice try, you're just gonna have to wait to get some more of _this (_gesturing to body:D),"I walk over and pull him up off the bed and plant a wet kiss on his lips, "Then again…"

He pulls me into his arms and kisses me deeper than before. My mind then goes into hazy mode. He runs his fingers playfully down my arm and gently guide my hand to his lips. He places a passionate kiss on my palm while looking straight into my eyes. I see his eyes, full of pure love for…who? Me? Why me? He loves me…more than I thought, I can see it. My breathing hitches.

"Blaine…" I pull away. I've never felt this…_strongly_ before. In that one moment I felt something that I…can't explain.

"We should get going," I say turning away from him. What will happen if I look back at him? Will everything else go away so it's just the two of us? Everything suddenly just *poof*; gone?

I turn around and am greeted by a confused look, "what?" he asks as if nothing happened.

"Nothing," I say, a bit confused myself, "nothing, I thought I heard something."

"OK well, I suppose I should get dressed then…" he makes a nervous laugh and I finally realize that there is a Blaine as naked as the day he was born standing in full view, in the bright sun no-less, and even though I've probably seen him naked a hundred times I still blush and quickly turn around with a nervous, "o-oh, sorry."

"s'all fine," he says, as self-conscious as me. I think we'll always have that little bit of embarrassment around each other once in a while. I hope it'll last forever.

XxXx

I hop into the passenger side of the old pickup and Blaine starts it up and backs out of the parking lot. I begin to flip through the radio stations and finally find a song that I don't hate. It's white noise to me though because he reaches out his hand and I take hold of it like it's the only thing keeping me alive.

"So how _was_ your today?" I ask; we never really talked much about it earlier.

"Well… it was good I suppose. I got a memo from the Warbler board that says our first practice is next week Friday. Did you get one too?"

"Oh yeah I did!" I had completely forgotten about that until now.

"Good," Blaine says with a smile, "I'm really feeling it this year."

"Yeah, we'll kick ass!" I say and laugh; he laughs too.

"So have you talked to anyone from McKinley lately?"

The truth is I haven't…not really at all for the past few months, "Yeah, a little."

"Good. I don't want to be keeping you away from them."

"No, no you're not Blaine… without you I don't know what I'd do," I look out the side window and see a storm coming in the distance, "Blaine! Look a storm!"

I point out my window and he throws a glance in the direction I'm indicating. I fuckin' love storms! Blaine found this out about two weeks ago when I got a little…excited.

Well the story is that we had been watching a movie and snuggling on the sofa when I heard thunder. I got a bit (actually a lot) anxious. I couldn't sit still… so Blaine suggested a way to blow off steam. I really _REALLY _enjoyed his idea. We both did. So now we_ both_ love storms.

"Do you think it'll be here tonight?" he asks with much implied.

"I hope so," I say with just as much implied.

We both stop talking and let our minds wander until we pull into the hospital parking lot.

As we walk into the lobby hand-in-hand the receptionist, Amy, smiles at me and Blaine. We've come here so much that we've made friends with a lot of the staff. Finn too, he's been trying to get this 23 year old nurse to go out with him. She said when he's old enough to drink, and then she'd think about it.

Blaine and I enter dad's room and take our usual seats, me on dad's left side of the bed and Blaine on the right. I get situated and comfortable and glance at my dad's stone set face.

"So, dad, today was my first day back at school," I begin, "I couldn't stand not being with Blaine all day. It was torcher."

"I found out later how much he missed me," Blaine laughs and I roll my eyes.

"He missed me just as much, I, a-hem, soon found out," I say back.

"This is true," Blaine says with a smirk and leans back in the chair.

"We got a letter from the Warblers; too, our first practice is next Friday. This year is gonna be a good one I'm sure."

"Yep," Blaine pipes in. I look over and see his eyes are closed and his hands are placed behind his head in a relaxed position.

I take hold of my dad's hand and place my thumb over his pulse; it gives a reassuring feeling, a pulse.

I look over at Blaine and see him looking at me through his lashes. I just stare back. Something about that look… he's not smiling and he's not frowning. It's as if there's no emotion yet emotion is pouring out. He doesn't look away for a long time; I can feel him looking at me.

I talk to my dad for another hour or so. When Blaine falls asleep about half way through I start to talk endlessly about him as if he wasn't there; I could go on forever but I'm sure my dad is kinda sick of listening to me gush about my love life.

At about 8:00 I figure we should head back. I quick text Carol that I'll be staying with Blaine tonight and move to wake Blaine. I walk up behind him and place my hands on his shoulders; he breathes in a deep sigh but doesn't wake up from my light touch. Maybe he just felt me in his dream . I move my mouth by his ear and whisper his name.

"mmm?"

"Time to go."

"…nah."

"Yeah, come on sleepy head," I say with soft laughter.

"Nooo wanna shty her."

I laugh some more. I love how he mumbles in his sleep; I take advantage of his semi-conscious state. I take my hand off his shoulders and moves to kneel in front of him.

"What are you doing, Blaine?"

"mmm… Kur 's soft."

"Why am I soft?"

"Cuz' kitty…"

"I'm a kitty?"

Blaine doesn't reply for a few seconds until,

"Kurt?" Blaine does a start and looks down at me confused.

My face breaks into a wide smile, "yessss?"

"Was I sleeping talking again?" he asks. He knows how much I love making fun of him when he sleep-talks. One time he told me my cock tasted really really really really (insert more really's) good… yeah that was the best one so far.

"Yep you were. Apparently I'm a kitty; what exactly _were _you dreaming about?" I ask, with genuine interest.

Blaine blushes and rubs the sleep from his eyes, "well…honestly…I'll tell you on the way back."

xXx

"Well from what I remember you were…um in a cat suit…"

"A _cat_ suit?" I ask in disbelief.

"Well…not really a _suit… _it was more like you had whiskers and ears and a," he blushes even more, "a collar…_just_ a collar."

I burst out laughing, "is this a new fantasy you haven't told me about?" I ask through the tears.

Blaine smiles sheepishly, "well…yeah, now it is."

"Well Blainee-poo there is a storm raging as you can see…but we have a problem…"

"What is it?"

"I don't have anything cat related."


	8. Winters Chill

Months pass by and the Warblers have been practicing non-stop, giving Blaine and me less and less time to spend time alone. I've been visiting my dad only once a week mostly and homework is making me act like I'm PMSing. I've yelled at Blaine about really dumb things and he's been just as stressed…we argue a lot more now…

I lay on my bed crying. I left Blaine ten minutes ago with a car door slam and an 'I hate you!'… We were having a conversation on the way back from a Friday rehearsal about god knows what and it turned into an argument.

Blaine didn't say anything back to me as I trudged through the fresh snow-fall glittering over the pathway; ruining the smooth surface it once had. Ironic.

I hate how everything is turning out. It's all messy and I can't seem to fix no matter what I try. I need my dad to talk to more than ever right now. I taste the salty tears that run down my cheek and sneak between my lips. I can just imagine him coming down into my room with a confused look like he doesn't understand why I'm crying. I would try to explain the situation and my problems with Blaine…but he would have that look he wears a lot when I talk about boys as if he would never get it no matter how hard he tried. And that's the thing; my dad always _tried_. And I love him for that, but more so, I miss him for that.

_'Just do the best you can, Kurt; that's all you can do.'_

And I would find it reassuring.

XxX

I wake up and look at the clock, 12:37 P.M. shit, how long did I sleep? What time did I get to bed last night? I must have been up past midnight just thinking everything through. And now I have a simple solution that may or may not work… we'll have to see.

I call Blaine. I'm kinda nervous…the last thing I said to him was 'I hate you'. That's not exactly something that will make someone happy to hear from you.

*ring*

What will I say again?

*ring*

Wait, what was my plan?

*ring*

Fuck it

"Hello?"

"Blaine!" ok, why do you sound so frickin' surprised? You called him. I'm such a psycho-path.

"yeah? Kurt what is it?"

He doesn't hide his pissed off tone. It stings a little.

"Umm, I was wondering if you would like to meet me somewhere…"

Pause.

"Yeah I suppose… where?"

"I hadn't really planned that far," I try a laugh; he doesn't laugh back, "maybe I could meet you in the park and we could go for a walk…"

"It's 25 degrees out."

Oh, duh, I forgot it was the middle of December.

"…but we could dress warm… remember that place we found over the summer?"

How could I forget? We had been taking a _romantic_ stroll on the trail in the woods when we kinda got lost; we found a little cottage, though, that was run-down and abandoned. It had a stone fireplace, an old rickety table, and a moth-eaten blanket placed on a molded sofa. We fell in love with the place and fixed it up a little bit so we could have a place of our very own to go off to alone without the thought of being interrupted. We got a few blankets and pillows and threw out the sofa (we basically placed it outside) we bought a box of matches and a thing of fire starter oil stuff for fires and collected a large supply of twigs, logs and dry leaves so we could go there in the winter time. We haven't gone yet. It's been 4 months since the last time we've even taken a walk in those woods because of school, and it's about 45 minutes away to drive. We have had no time.

But now, I think we need a mini vacation to escape the stress of this place. We need to be together and talk things out without fighting; at least you can't really run away in rage at a shack in the middle of nowhere with snow flanking every side.

"I'll meet you there, then. We should stay the night there and I'll tell Carol I'm at your place… I mean, if you want to."

Another pause.

"Yeah, I'll meet you there in an hour and a half." Click.

He hung up. Oh well. He probably didn't want me to argue.

I put on a pair of comfy sweat pants (which are usually not my style) and a XXL sweatshirt over a purple and blue tight fitting shirt. I mess up my hair to get that sexy 'I don't care if I look like I just got out of bed 'cuz I am one sexy fucking son of a bitch' look. This is the polar opposite of how I usually look; I suppose I'm rebelling against my usual self. I grab a duffel bag and fill it with an extra pair of pants, a few shirts, and socks…and condoms. You can't blame a guy for being optimistic. I also grab a sleeping bag from my closet.

As I rush upstairs I realize that I'm really excited for this little vacay. I need to make up with Blaine and feel him close to me again. I want his skin pressed against mine and to feel his breath on my neck. It's been two weeks since we last made love. I'm having withdrawal symptoms.

"Where are you going?" I walk into the kitchen and Finn is sitting at the table trying to decode his Spanish text book.

"Blaine's."

"Dressed like that? It kinda pains me to see you so…unfashionable," he says with a laugh as he gets up; he's probably happy for the excuse of me being here so he can stop studying. I laugh too.

"I'll take it as a compliment I suppose." I take out the jelly and peanut butter and make four sandwiches for me and Blaine to eat later. I look in the cupboard and send a silent prayer to heaven for what I see: half a bag of Doritos.

I stuff the food in my duffel too and head for the garage.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" I turn around and see Finn is making a sandwich too.

"Yeah, around noon," I say with a smile. I'm so grateful that I have more family to stand by me with my dad away. I take my coat and scarf off the hook, slip on a pair of giant winter boots, and head out.

xXx

I pull up to the edge of the trail where there is enough room to park the car and get out into the cold. I wrap the scarf tighter around my neck and start the twenty minute walk to our safe haven. I walk in silence through the deep snow that wisps around my knees every time I take a step. My breath is making what appears to be smoke come out from between my lips and my nose is going numb. I hate winter when I'm outside but I love it when I'm inside; I can't wait to get there.

After what appears to be an hour, but is actually barely thirty (I have found that it doesn't take a simple twenty minutes when there is almost two feet of snow) minutes, goes by the shelter is in my sight. The constant snow fall is making it hard to see more than three feet in front of me but there is no mistaking the fairytale-like, snow-covered structure sparkling under a thick blanket of snow in the nearing distance. I begin to run, and ignore my numb legs, as I dream up the feel of a warm fire flickering in front of me.

I rush up the snow covered steps and fling open the door.

It's all still here, just the way we left it.

The blankets and pillows are placed neatly in the corner and the pile of wood and twigs and leaves is piled high by the almost blacked out fireplace. Those logs took a lot of work hauling in here… we spent a whole day stalking up on them at the end of August.

I walk in slowly as memories replay through my mind, and I feel myself smile. I realize that my sweats are soaked through so I take out a pair of thick, flannel PJ pants and quickly change into them. I throw my duffel on the floor and begin my attempt to build a fire…Blaine always made them the few times we had them over the summer due to the fact that I usually had amazing clothes on that and, if they had gotten dirty, I would have died. Literally. I build a 'teepee' out of a few logs and place the dry leaves and twigs in the center of the structure. I take the matches off the table and try to get a leaf to light.

Just then I hear the door knob turn and a cold breeze on my back. I turn around and see Blaine there at the doorway shivering and almost soaked through.

"I got a little lost," he says through his chattering teeth.

I leap up and rush over to him, "How long were you out there? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. I was just out there a little over forty-five minutes, it's no big deal," he brushes away from my hand and moves over to the fire, "it looks like you need some help with this," he says with a laugh," you got the right structure though."

I look at his back and want to run over and hug him until he's as warm as the summer sun; he's still shivering.

"Blaine, about yesterday-," he turns around and stares at me.

"No, Kurt, not now," he says.

_"Blaine! I need you, why are you acting like this?" I say, fighting back tears. Blaine keeps his face forward and his hands placed firmly on the steering wheel._

_ "Kurt, I can't always be here for you. You need to learn to be on your own without me there for every moment…" _

_ I don't understand why this is happening. I'm afraid he'll break up with me any second._

_ "Blaine…why are you saying all this now?" I ask._

_ "Because you're always coming to me with your problems; I have enough on my plate, Kurt, without you constantly needing me at your side."_

_ I never imagined he felt this way… it's like we're an old fighting couple all the time. In the very beginning it was so perfect; why is it changing now? Is it true that love can't last forever?_

_ "But isn't that what boyfriends are for Blaine? To help each other? I thought you knew me well enough to understand that I am strong... I just want someone to be with me through the hard times…_you_ need me too."_

_ He looks over at me with a look of remorse mixed in with a little of confusion then he opens his mouth and says, "I can stand on my own just fine."_

_ I look away out the window and see that we were stopped in my driveway with the snow falling in layers all around, "I hate you," I open the door and leave without a second glance._

"Yeah, Blaine, I think now is the perfect time," I say.

He turns back around to the fire that he got started and I hear him say a grudgingly, "fine."

Ok… now all I have to do is ask that question that's been bothering me; but I'm afraid of the answer.

"Blaine, do you still love me?"

He jerks around, surprised by the abruptness of my question, "Why would you ask that Kurt?"

I thought it would be obvious, "because of what you said last night… about you not needing me and that I need you too much."

He looks at me with eyes full of remorse and says, "I didn't mean it." he takes hold of my hand and I pull away.

"Then why the hell did you say that then, if you didn't mean it?" I ask angrily.

"I don't know…" he says and tries to hug me.

"No! If you say something like that you have to mean it!" Maybe this whole trip was a mistake. It was dumb of me to believe this would actually work.

He turns away again and starts to unfold the blankets and make them into a bed.

"Kurt, I do love you…I've just been stressed with everything going on."

"That's not an excuse," I say, "We're turning into a couple that fights constantly and are never happy. If you want to break up with me just say it."

"But I don't want to break up with you," he says keeping his face turned away so I can't read his emotion.

"Then why the _fuck_ did you say those things yesterday!"

"I told you I don't know!" he yells; turning around and raising his arms over his head exasperatingly. It could be quite comical if the situation was different, "I just. I don't know Kurt. I'm just a stupid human that makes mistakes like anyone else… I need you. I don't know why I said I didn't cuz god knows I do more than anything else."

Tears are coming to his eyes. I ignore this and press him for reason again.

"Blaine…you do realize that you were being a total ass yesterday. Why?"

"Because…" This isn't getting us anywhere. I'll just let it go for now,

"Fine. So now we need to figure out how we're going to fix this… to fix us. We can't go on like this; fighting and hating each other-"

"I don't hate you," Blaine interjects.

"…I don't hate you either; At all…" I try to explain, "Blaine, I need you… you said yesterday that I need to stand on my own because you're getting tired of being with me."

"I said that?" he whispers mostly to himself.

I continue, "But I _am_ strong and I _can_ stand on my own. I did for years. But now I have someone who can stand by me and keep me happy…and you saying that you don't want to help me? Well, that was a heartless thing to say," I walk towards him, determined, "is it wrong to want to be by the one you love every moment? Is it too much to ask for you to comfort me and for me to do the same in return?"

He looks into my eyes, "no… I'm so sorry."

"We'll work this out slowly. We're just going through a rough patch… it'll get better," I say, reassuring both of us at least a little bit.

Blaine turns away from me and kneels by the fireplace again, "We'll need a fire if we want to stay warm."

I kneel down next to him, "Yeah, show me how to do this again…"

He looks at me and smiles kind of sadly, "alright."

Ten minutes later there's a roaring fire crackling by the hearth and an accomplished look on my face; even though I hardly did anything.

"So," Blaine begins, "would you forgive me?"

I can't stand to be stubborn anymore, it's too much work, "Yes, I forgive you."

Blaine breathes out a sigh of relief and begins to move closer to me; his body language taking a completely different turn… "Kurt," his eyes flicker to the ground when he's only inches away from me, "do you know another way we could keep warm?"

By the sound of his voice I think I like where this is going… "nooo…"

Blaine's eyes flick up to mine and he gives me a sexy smile, "_body heat."_

I think those may be my two new favorite words.

He doesn't give me any time to respond before he takes my hand and pulls me gently yet quickly down to the bed he made on the floor.

I notice how extremely cold I am and want nothing more than to feel the heat of his body on mine. I roll on top of him and straddle his waste with my hands spread over his chest. I smile down at him before I lean my face over his. Our lips are millimeters apart and I want nothing more than to kiss him again; so I do. How I've missed his kiss. It's been nearly four days but it feels like so much longer. Just this small amount of contact elicits a groan from my boyfriend and an excited flutter in my abdomen.

I deepen the kiss immediately and lean over him closer until my elbows are resting on either side of his head. His tongue is amazing as it swirls over mine. I can feel his hands twist in my hair so he can get a better hold of me. He breaks the kiss and moves his mouth to my neck; kissing it openly and erotically… I let out a groan as I start to move my hips in a circle over him. I want more contact between us. I need to get all his clothes off of him right now.

"Blaine…" I move to get away from his delicious mouth but he holds me tighter to him as his mouth travels the path of my jawline.

"I want shirt off now," I whine childishly.

He abides and lets me go with a laugh so I can sit up. He quickly swipes off his shirt and I start by pulling off the gigantic sweatshirt and then take off the t-shirt; I'm immediately greeted my chilled air. I shiver viciously and Blaine wraps his warm arms around me and pulls me close so I'm resting on his lap, my head lying on his shoulder. I'm immediately warmer.

"Kurt, this is how it should always be," he whispers as he runs his hands down my back, sending more shivers from his gentle touch. He leans back slowly until he is lying on his back with me on top of him again. Our skin is pressed together as he brings a blanket over the both of us.

We start to kiss again; this time slowly and passionately. We're both savoring every second of this deep connection we have. I feel his fingers sliding under my waist band to remove my pants. I move up a little to assist and soon we're both completely naked and pressed together. Every inch of my body is covered in sweat now as we become fiercer with each other.

My mind is completely lost; all I can do is feel his hands running all over me and the noises he makes; the incomprehensible words of praise that escape our mouths as we try to tell each other how much we appreciate the other.

I finally am inside of him and our voices are mingled in the dense air around us as our cries of pleasure escape our lips.

It's over and I don't have enough energy to open my eyes. Sleep comes only after I whisper, "in the future… let's end every fight like this."


End file.
